How to fall back in love with your job
...Because you'd be forgiven for wanting to jack it all in atm
I’m keeping Out Of Office newsletters free, because I think every self-employed woman deserves as much support as possible. Want to say thanks? I love a flat white…
Hello, colleague!
Welcome to February, which I have oh-so-imaginatively decided is Love Month for Out Of Office (you can tell I’m a writer, with such creativity.)
With that in mind - anyone fancy a Gal-entines meet up? I thought I’d host another free post-work drinks chat on Friday 12th. It’s a nice chance to meet other self-employed womxn in the same boat; celebrate your weekly wins; share or ask for any advice; and generally get the weekend off to a lovely start.
I don’t know about you, but I am finding things HARD right now. The stress of lockdown seems to have had some unpleasant knock-on effects on my workload (it’s been a bad period in particular for editors suddenly ghosting my emails, even when I have confirmed work set up with them - utterly demoralising, and makes it impossible to plan my time properly.)
So instead of my usual expert-led advice in particular areas of business, I thought we could all do with a bit of emotional bolstering. This week in particular, I am in need of a reminder that freelance life is still a great fit for me. And so this issue’s topic is…
How to fall back in love with your job
During all of this * gestures around * you’d be forgiven for not exactly leaping out of bed in the morning to start work. While covid has hit us all slightly differently, I’d wager that all of us sit somewhere on a scale from ‘somewhat lacklustre’ to ‘could just scream into a pillow until my throat catches fire’.
I wanted to kick off February’s Love Month theme by helping you reignite a little spark of enthusiasm for self-employed life. I’ve spoken to transformational business coach Steph Heald from the Life Changing Academy – she specialises in helping women fall back in love with their work – and asked her to share her top tips.
(May we all love our jobs as much as Cameron, Drew and Lucy circa 2000.)
Why do self-employed women stop enjoying their work?
According to Steph, it’s the age-old issue of money and time. “Women tend to stop loving their job when they spend too much time working, for not enough money.
“Another common problem is when they aren’t doing the work they really want to be doing. It can become a bit of a trap – you end up taking on clients who don’t really excite you when you’re worried about money, but they are often the most demanding or difficult clients, who take up a lot of time.”
And, let’s be honest, we have all felt that pressure – and that sinking feeling when you’ve taken on a piece of work that fills you with dread. “I’ve done it myself,” says Steph. “But it can lead you into an uncomfortable cycle.”
What’s the solution? Trying to give yourself a bit of breathing space – literally.
How to reconnect to your business
It might sound a bit wishy-washy, particularly if you’re feeling panicked about work – but that’s exactly the point. You need to get out of that stress-cycle, even if just for 30 minutes, to help you see things more clearly. It’s hard to make good choices when you’re in a spin, so if your heart rate is high and your mind is racing, it’s time to slow things down.
Find a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted (or let people in the house know you need some time out), sit in a comfortable, upright position, and do some deep, regular breaths into your belly, in and out of your nose. Spend a few minutes concentrating on physically relaxing – imagine your heart slowing down, drop your shoulders and release your jaw. Creating a space where you feel calm and safe is super important for the next step.
“When I ask clients to think about their dream life, most of them look at me like I’m crazy,” says Steph. “For most people, it doesn’t feel safe to dream. I certainly used to feel it was almost painful to imagine what I wanted – that’s why you need to connect to your body through your breath and get out of survival mode. In that calm state, you can start to see opportunities you couldn’t see before. It’s like when you have a painful memory – on a good day you’ll see it as just a blip, but on a bad day it can feel all-consuming. It’s about changing the lens.
“Ask yourself what you need to earn, how much time you’d like off, and who are the clients you want to work with? I see all these women working hard and never getting where they want to be – you have to reverse engineer things.”
But…my dream life is NOTHING like my current biz
There are, of course, several possible outcomes to this exercise. You might realise that with a bit – or a lot – or work, you can shift your business model to find work that makes you happier.
“It might feel scary to drop the 80% of clients who you don’t enjoy working with, but it means you can put more effort into the 20% who you do – and attracting more of the same,” says Steph.
On the other hand, it may be that your fantasies about a dream life don’t involve your current business in any way. “Sometimes you can tweak things and fall back in love with your business, but for other people it just isn’t what they want anymore. That can be scary to say out loud, but you have to trust that everything will work out – especially if, like lots of my clients, you aren’t sure what you enjoy doing. No step is too small,” says Steph.
If that sounds like you, phase two is being very gentle with yourself, and trying out anything that feels fun to see where it might lead you. If you’ve always wanted to try a potential hobby, or learn a new skill, it might be a good time to make those tentative steps.
You’re far from alone – the pandemic has left many, many people asking ‘is this it?’ about their current set-up. As always, it’s good to talk, so don’t be afraid to speak to supportive self-employed friends or business mentors, and bounce some ideas around – you never know when inspiration will strike.
I still like my job, but I’m feeling ‘meh’
It might also be that, theoretically at least, you still love your job, but this whole lingering nightmare has left you feeling flat. If there are no major changes that need to happen, how can you put the pep back in your business step?
“It’s important to acknowledge that it’s a normal reaction based on what we’re going through – this is a collective trauma response,” says Steph. And she’s right. It’s easy to feel (or be made to feel) that the pandemic has been going on for so long that we ought to have adjusted by now. But the reality is: things still suck. It’s ok to feel that, and to not be ploughing through your to-do list right now, even if you normally enjoy your job.
The first thing to do – again – is just be really, really kind to yourself. Obviously this is easier said than done. Being women, we’ve been raised to consider martyrdom to be the only acceptable life choice. But not only will taking more breaks lower your risk of burn-out, but it might just help bring the love back to your work.
My new year’s resolution – not working on Wednesday afternoons – felt pretty indulgent. But it’s already paying off. I felt so stressed last Wednesday morning after three pieces of work came in at the same time, with similar deadlines. I was furious, doing some mad diary juggling, when it hit 12.30. Hmmm. I was meant to take a half-day, but I couldn’t just leave everything, could I?
I did. I watched the Downton Abbey movie with my cat (apparently I am now 105). I could feel my heart rate dropping. It was great (not the film, obviously) and I came back to my work on Thursday feeling calmer and more capable. I even enjoyed the process of writing an article on a topic I’d usually consider a bit dull. (Relative to Hugh Bonneville it seemed pretty exciting).
Consider your ‘whys’
Whether you’re looking to change your job, or just need to renew your enthusiasm, considering why you’re doing what you’re doing (or where you’re aiming to go) is a quick way to relight that spark.
“It helps to have two ‘whys’,” says Steph:
Why you’re doing it for yourself, or your family.
A why for the people that you help.
“Mine are that I wanted work that would allow me to travel around, and that I wanted to help support more women to live their dream life. Some days I don’t do anything, if I need to rest I do, but then I focus on the thought that someone out there needs to hear from me today, and that pulls me forward.
“I think that every person has got a unique gift to bring to the world, and your business is your vehicle to do that.”
Let me know what you LOVE about being self-employed - just hit reply!
For those of you who felt inspired by December’s webinar about creating new ‘passive’ income streams, such as paid newsletters, membership platforms or printable downloads, business strategist Joelle Byrne is now opening her Powerfully Passive Products programme. You can launch your new product within 60 days with her guidance, and start making money without having to spend lots of time in your business. (Find out more about what exactly constitutes a ‘passive’ product in this interview with Joelle from a few weeks back). [This is an affiliate link, but not an advert.]