Why celebrating your wins = better productivity
Madonna had it right: it's time to celebrate
Enjoying Out Of Office? Consider topping up my flat white fund…
Hello, Colleague!
Hope you’re managing to navigate a very solemn, snowy February as best you can. Thanks to those who came along to last Friday’s Galentines social - your faces are true sunshine to this solo worker.
Exciting news (code for: ‘terrifying news’) - I’ve finally followed through on something I’ve been putting off for ages, and launched a Patreon page for Out Of Office.
I don’t think I’m alone in procrastinating when something scares me at work. It’s frightening to put myself out there and ask for money for a project that I’ve been working on since April for free. But I think it’s good to be honest about the struggles of self-employment, starting with my own fear.
First off, don’t worry - Out Of Office isn’t going anywhere. If you like reading the newsletter and aren’t interested in more - that’s fine (although you get bonus karmic points for sharing it with friends!) It’s staying weekly and free to all. I love writing this letter each week, and I want to reach as many self-employed womxn as possible without a paywall. There will also be the odd free event still happening too.
But, if you’re hungry to connect with other like-minded folk, signing up to one of the two Patreon tiers could be the answer. Lots more info on the page, but there will be monthly accountability chats - allowing you to publicly share goals, celebrate your wins (more on that coming up below!) and ask advice from other womxn in the same boat. There will also be monthly webinars (and videos of past events) with experts, where you can get any professional niggles sorted, and ask questions that are really specific to your own business.
The first accountability session is on Friday 26th for ‘Part Time Colleague’ and ‘Full Time Colleague’ level patrons.
The first webinar will be March 16th for FT Colleagues, and all around ‘How to stay motivated when the world is on fire’, with motivational expert Sophie Bennett.
Ok that’s enough of that. Plunging back into my comfort zone…..now.
Why celebrating your wins = better productivity
We’re into week three of Love Month, and I thought it was high time to celebrate how brilliant you are. Yes, you. You are nailing things. Don’t believe me? You soon will…
When you’re head down in a pile of work – or perhaps wrangling kids through home schooling – it’s hard to look up. If you’re struggling with what feels like an insurmountable goal, it’s likely you tend to push any accomplishments to one side. Perhaps you don’t feel you have time to celebrate, or your ‘little wins’ seem too small to shout about. Maybe you don’t even notice your achievements anymore.
One of – let’s be honest – many things that can feel strange about self-employment is that no one really cares what you’re up to. Obviously there are those with a vested interest – clients, customers, people you hire, or those you work alongside in some capacity – but as long as you get the job done on time, no one really cares about the ins and outs of how you got there. Even family and friends, when pushed, would probably have a somewhat shaky understanding of what a working day actually looks like for you.
I guess that’s ok in a way. After all, traditional employment might gift you colleagues and a manager who are deeply invested in your day-to-day activities, or it can lead to micro-managing, and a sense that your time is not really your own. When you work for yourself, you get that freedom back, but, as harsh as it sounds, no one is terribly interested when you finally cross that small job off your endless to-do list, or make a professional contact that really excites you. [*Ok, there is someone who still cares – see below!]
As I mentioned (bragged about) in the previous issue, I won an award last week. Not only did it make me feel validated in my work around sexual violence, which can often be harrowing and lonely, but it was so lovely to share it on social and garner encouragement from friends, family and acquaintances. But while a big and public win feels like fair game for showing off, it doesn’t mean we should neglect the tiny, every day actions that move the dial on where we want our careers to go.
Claire Turner, an EFT practitioner, agrees with me. “One of the ways I start my sessions is asking clients to celebrate three wins from the past week – and they tend to look at me in horror! We tend to have a habit as women to play ourselves down, without stopping and thinking what we’ve accomplished.”
What counts as a ‘professional win’?
For one thing, it doesn’t have to be life-changing. “Most people think a win should be massive to be celebrated, but the best way is to start small,” says Claire. “When you start celebrating small things, your brain gets a hit of dopamine, and the more it gets used to that, the more it will look for those things.” In other words, start hunting out your successes and it becomes easier to spot them.
Consider it a feminist act. “My clients often struggle to think of those three wins as we’re so used to not patting ourselves on the back. There’s an association with women that we’re told not to make a big fuss, or that to be boastful is a bad thing. I don’t feel we’re allowed to feel fucking awesome – and that’s where that ‘I’m not good enough’ feeling comes from,” says Claire.
Why does celebrating your wins matter though?
Consider it the beginning of a total work/life upgrade. “You’ll have more energy, and you’ll feel more involved and enthusiastic about your work. Positivity fuels progress and productivity,” says Claire. Frankly, who doesn’t want that?
And we’re not talking opening a bottle of fizz for every difficult email you’ve sent, or social post you’ve scheduled (although, for the record, I’m not discouraging that either…)
“I like to celebrate by incorporating a verbal thing with a physical action,” says Claire. “So I say ‘YES!’ while doing a power pull-down with my right hand in a fist. In NLP terms it’s called ‘anchoring’, where you take a state or emotion (like courage, excitement, whatever) and you attach it to a physical action. By anchoring your ‘feel good’ memory to a physical action you are effectively banking that emotion/feeling. When you keep banking those feelings by doing the same action every time you feel them, it’s like making a deposit into the ‘bank’. You now have a ‘confidence account’ that you can draw from whenever you need more confidence. Just by doing that physical action.
“People get embarrassed, but the beauty of working on your own is that no one can see it. I do it so often that I now get an energy surge just from doing it now, without any win to celebrate.”
What about celebrating your failures?!
Even more important than bigging up your highs, according to Claire, is celebrating your lows. Of course, that’s easier said than done if you’re currently cringing over a faux pas from a meeting, or a client you failed to impress.
“As the saying goes, ‘what you resist persists’, so if you need a moment to have a little sulk then have it. Visit it, but don’t stay in it,” advises Claire. Phase two, when your wounds are licked, is to actually celebrate your mistake.
“We’re taught to fear getting things wrong. If you sit and wallow in that time you did something stupid your energy will drop like a stone, but try to celebrate it as a moment to learn – harder and louder than your wins. Shout: ‘Yeah, I really fucked that up!’ And dance around the room. This is how you can start training your brain to not fear making a mistake.
“Now just think about where you could be if you didn’t fear making mistakes. It’s all a way of taking some control back, and looking for the good in life. ” When put like that, it doesn’t sound so ‘out there’ after all.
*Someone you CAN share your wins with
That thing I said earlier about no one really caring about your little wins – not entirely true. You know who does care? Other self-employed folk.
One of the key components (and probably my favourite bit!) of the accountability sessions I’ve been running for Out Of Office is the chance to publicly celebrate your wins from the past month, however big or small. It’s a safe space to have a little brag – and that can actually help galvanise and encourage others too.
If you’re interested in joining one of these friendly sessions – available at the end of every month – to celebrate your wins and share some goals for the weeks ahead, consider signing up as an Out Of Office Colleague, via my new Patreon page. I can’t wait to get to know you all better and work together to make another rocky year feel more stable and supported.