Stuck in the middle (with you?)

Self-employed + mid-career = ??

Enjoying Out Of Office? You can buy me a coffee here.

Morning, Colleague

Last month I spoke about the ‘career porn myth’, i.e. the commonly pedalled notion that any young girl worth her salt will be immediately taken under the wing of a mentor figure and propelled to greatness.

I’ve been going through a rough patch, both personally and professionally, and it’s made me think about pesky ‘big picture’ type of questions. I’ve spent a lot of time looking at training courses – everything from short-term skill sessions, to Masters and even law conversion courses – and it’s crystallised a feeling I’ve been carrying around since becoming self-employed: there isn’t much out there when you’re in the middle of your career.

Looking specifically at my field for a moment, the internet is awash with ‘how to pitch’ or ‘become a freelance journalist’ courses. There are awards and grants and paid placements for young would-be hacks. I myself narrowly squeezed under the gate for an award that was only eligible for under-35s.

Not to throw shade on any of that - I’m glad there is so much support available for young writers - but I wonder about the implications for all of these baby journos funnelled into the system. ‘Welcome!’ the world of journalism seems to say, and then… Well, it goes a little quiet.

If you make it up the rungs to editor of a magazine or paper, there’s some level of support again, with societies created for editors to get together, and awards galore. But what if that’s not your trajectory?

I feel this bind annually when a wonderful professional group I’m in runs its mentorship scheme. Again, no shade, it’s a great idea, but I feel myself a bit of a spare part, despite being eligible for both mentee and mentor roles. I’m so experienced in the industry that the support I want from a mentor is always extremely niche — I want to know, for example, how to work as a freelancer writing a non-fiction book on an even more niche topic. Meanwhile, as a mentor I feel I am disappointing to younger writers who want to know how to get ahead in a traditional workplace environment. My advice, which is always the same – create the project you wish existed, and don’t wait for permission – is not want they want to hear. (I don’t blame them at all – it isn’t what I would have wanted to hear in my twenties either!)

I know that not all of you work in my industry (although lots of you do – hello!) but I can’t help imagining that the challenges for most self-employed people are the same. There isn’t really a ‘ladder’ for most of us. We can scale up — work for more interesting people, make more money, open physical businesses, take on employees — but there isn’t a clear progression to a top role, and we don’t have a manager to advise us on the next steps, or put us forward for training schemes or recognition.

I know I’ve been a bit of a broken record lately, and like all of these newsletters are pointing out how outside of ‘the system’ I feel. I’ve definitely felt more lonely and adrift over the last few months than in the whole of my freelancing career (which, admittedly, hasn’t been a very long one!)

But, for every day when I search fruitlessly for training courses or meet ups for mid-career journalists, there’s another day where I relish being an outsider. I’ve never enjoyed ‘playing the game’, ticking boxes for the sake of it, or answering to people I don’t entirely respect.

I’ve spent the last couple of weeks working from a coffee shop for the first time since the pandemic started (I’ve been often enough for the pink-haired barista to say: ‘the regular?’), alongside my self-employed husband. When I get fidgety or have to answer an annoying email, I interrupt him (sorry, Ross) to see if he wants to play the Box Office Game (honestly, I am OBSESSED). I took yesterday afternoon off to get my ribs cracked back into place by an osteopath and watch series 2 of Love is Blind. And I have time and headspace to start asking these type of questions, rather than being on a conveyor belt towards the next inevitable role.

Incidentally, my dad – a professor of dementia and psychiatrist – often says that the more senior you become, the further away you get from the work you were interested in in the first place, so, for him, clinical work with patients. And I suppose that’s the great thing about ‘the middle’ – we can still control, to some degree, where we put our time and energy.

It’s sometimes incredibly disheartening to feel so alienated by workplace culture, but it can also be liberating. I’d like to see more support for mid-career folk across the board, and specifically for self-employed women. Perhaps that’s the way the world is heading anyway, as our numbers swell? But in the meantime I am choosing to remember the flexibility that comes with being overlooked, like an unruly poltergeist who enjoys reality dating programmes.

• Don’t forget, for just £1 a month you can come along to our accountability meetings (last Friday of the month, 11am UK time) and meet the friendliest bunch of self-employed women you’re ever likely to encounter. More info here. Plus, first visit is free, so what have you got to lose? Hit reply if you want in.