Fancy joining a monthly accountability chat with other self-employed women? It can improve focus and help you set goals for the month again. Become a member of the OOO Colleague Community to secure your spot, and you’ll also be supporting the newsletter. Want to support on a one-off basis? Consider buying me a Ko-Fi
Morning, Colleague!
*Event klaxon* I miss your faces, so details of another virtual co-working session are bellow.
This week I want to talk about freelancer guilt — specifically the guilt we feel when we’re physically or mentally unwell.
A few weeks back I received a message from my (self-employed) hairdresser cancelling my upcoming appointment. She is heavily pregnant, and was been feeling faint and dizzy, so decided to go on maternity leave slightly early to rest up. Her message was full of remorse: she felt awful for letting me down, she’d tried to struggle through but was feeling increasingly dreadful, and she knew it would be a big disappointment to have to live with my lockdown locks for any longer. Naturally I called her to scream at her. How dare she put her unborn baby, who she hadn’t even met yet, above the root regrowth of a beloved client?
Obviously, I’m kidding. I was sorry to hear she was unwell, but even more sorry to see the stress in her message. But I get it. It’s a burden that feels unique to freelancers.
When I worked in-house, I never felt too bad about taking time off when I was ill. I mean obviously it’s not nice to leave work piling up, or to ask a colleague to pick up your slack, but it’s an accepted part of life when you’re employed. The fact that paid sick leave exists suggests that it’s a normal thing to require in any given year, and there’s no risk of damaging your reputation if you need a few days to snuffle on the couch like a truffle-seeking hog. There shouldn’t be repercussions within your work from taking sick leave. I would hope that your boss won’t consider hiring someone else over you, or ghost your future emails, because you had a week off with flu. They certainly wouldn’t warn other potential employers that you’re a flake, or leave a crappy review about your work online. (I’m aware I’m over simplifying things here, and many workplaces can’t be petty about sickness, especially long-term, but in general there’s at least a semblance of security in-house that is lacking when you work alone.)
Obviously that should be the case for freelancers too. If you’re poorly, whether it’s a temporary bug or a long-term health issue, and let a client/customer know, then they should be reasonable — hell, even sympathetic! It’s not a reflection of your ability to do the job, after all. It’s a reflection that you’re human. So why is it so hard to make peace with cancelling or postponing work when we’re sick?
I think it comes down to uncertainty. We can’t be sure whether someone is going to be reasonable and understanding, or a total arse. The former won’t have any impact on your work, but the latter could spell real trouble, especially if it’s a piece of work you rely on to pay the bills.
Most of my professional relationships exist predominantly via email – I haven’t ever met or even spoken to several editors I regularly write for – and if you sell products it’s likely you’ve never interacted directly with most of your customers. It can be hard to judge tone via email or message, not to mention the fact that most emails are written in a rush, with half a mind on something else. So it’s easy, especially when you’re feeling sensitive, to read a hasty ‘ok thanks for letting me know’, as ‘ok cool, a curse on your whole family for ruining my life, I’ll ensure you never work again, xoxo.’
If you’re under the weather and freaking out about letting a client know, then try to put yourself in their shoes. Would you be understanding? I’m certain you would. Obviously apologise, be as honest as you feel is appropriate, and if possible suggest an alternative deadline, or perhaps someone else who might be able to help instead. But don’t tie yourself up in knots of guilt for the whole day. Nothing will stop your recovery quite as effectively (I am speaking from experience here).
Will some people think less of you when you’re ill and ‘letting them down’? I honestly don’t know. I hope not. But what I would say is that anyone who makes you feel even an ounce of extra guilt isn’t the sort of person you want to be working for/with anyway. I know that’s a tough message to hear when you’re stressed, but it’s true. The world often wants freelancers to forget that respect is a two-way street. We’re constantly made to feel ‘lucky’ for the breaks we get, or the money we earn (no matter how late our invoices are paid). But don’t forget that there’s a reason people turn to you — there’s something unique you have to offer. You deserve to feel valued, and part of that is flexibility and tolerance from people you work with. Now go and get some orange juice.
The last two Work Together virtual co-working sessions were a delight. I found I was much more productive while hanging out on Zoom with some of you. So, I’m doing it again! On Monday 28th, on a pay-what-you-can basis to support the newsletter (if you can’t afford a donation, that’s absolutely fine, come anyway). Get your tickets here
I’m also looking forward to this month’s accountability session, on Friday 25th at 11am, and every reader is welcome to try one for free — hit reply if you want in. It’s a great way to network without it feeling ‘networky’, as well as setting some goals for July and looking back over what went well during June.
Come and hang out in the private OOO Facebook group
We need to talk about freelancer guilt
The fact that so much of freelancer/client relationships are over email definitely impacts communication! Especially when you're trying to take time off for vacation or for sick leave, it can be a bit nerve wracking. But it's often a lot easier than you think, especially when you work with good clients.