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Morning, Colleague!
I hope summer is treating you kindly and you’re managing to stay as safe as possible, given all the chaos. Also thanks a million to those who sent kind birthday messages or bought me a drink, ILY.
I’ve spent a frustrating few days chasing several invoices (worth a pittance) from one company, that were filed in Feb/March. Honestly, it’s been laughable. Does everyone have this issue? Let me know it’s not just me! I will probably make it the subject of a future newsletter, because I love to talk money as much as I love to vent.
That’s a topic for another day. Today, seeing as the country is now open (whether we like it or not), I wanted to cover the topic of public speaking. Not only is this daunting for many of us at the best of times, but after a year stuck behind our screens, the idea of giving a presentation or even attending a meeting IRL, feels completely alien.
No matter what type of work you do, on some level you probably need to sell yourself and your business to other people. That could mean full TED-style talks to firms or prospective customers, or more intimate one-to-ones wooing clients or pitching ideas. Whatever your business looks like, getting comfortable in front of an unknown audience is a great skill to have in your back pocket – especially when you’re self-employed, and your business relies on you for promotion.
Speaking in public is frequently ranked as people’s number one phobia — even, weirdly, more than actual death. The good news is, that unlike death, there are some really simple ways to conquer your speaking anxiety. And just imagine how far ahead of the competition that could place you.
First off, it’s worth remembering why public speaking is a good thing to do: it will help you communicate your passion for your company, and spread the word, attracting new clients or customers.
“It’s wonderful to be able to express yourself and say how you feel,” says Marilyn Devonish, aka The NeuroSuccess Coach, a life and executive coach, and NLP trainer, who specialises in curing the fear of public speaking. “There’s no point being a legend in your living room! If you have something to share, and someone might benefit from it, it’s a terrible shame not to get your message out there – you might be doing the world a disservice by staying quiet.”
And the best part? “You don’t have to be born a natural to be brilliant at public speaking. I was terrified of it until my 30s,” says Marilyn, “It’s more than possible to change if you choose to. It’s a skill, and you can learn to love it.”
Why does public speaking scare us?
“There’s a myriad of reasons why people hate it, but most commonly it’s because of a limiting belief — on some level you don’t think you’re capable of it, so why would you risk putting yourself out there?” says Marilyn. “But many of my clients go from loathing it to actually loving it, with only a few hours’ of coaching.”
There’s also the issue of gender – while most of Marilyn’s male clients tend to visit to perfect wedding speeches, it’s often women who get particularly nervous around work-based speaking.
“Men can be better at pushing themselves through. Even if they don’t feel confident, it can seem like they are, while women might tend to shrink back, or not speak out in meetings. Men don’t tend to let the fear of it get in their way, while women might,” says Marilyn. “Women often want to get everything perfect before they do something. But with speaking out, you don’t have to get it right first time, it can be just as important to get it started and improve as you go.”
How to ace public speaking
The first step, according to Marilyn, is to work out what’s stopping you feeling good on stage. “Find out what sits beneath your problem - it’s unlikely to be shyness alone.” Get to the root cause – whether it’s an off-hand remark that’s stayed with you over the years, or a specific incident where you fluffed a speech. You can always speak to a coach like Marilyn, or even a therapist, for help to address this.
Secondly, plan like mad. “Work on your presentation – especially the opening, as once you’ve got that right you can roll through,” says Marilyn.
Practising aloud at home is essential, especially if it’s something that needs to fit into a time slot — it’s amazing how easy it is to overrun when you factor in the speed of speaking and pausing for breath. My husband Ross, who is also self-employed and does a lot of public speaking despite being shy, writes down his talks in the shape of a poem, with lots of spacing between thoughts, and in a large font:
So,
It might end up looking
A little something like this
So that you’re never reaching the end of a line
And scrabbling around for your next sentence.
But should the worst happen and you lose your place, or realise you’ve missed something out, don’t announce it to the audience, according to Marilyn. “The audience may lose confidence in you if you tell them you’ve messed up, so move on and keep going. They probably haven’t even noticed.”
Finally, imagine that you’re addressing your talk to one particular individual — perhaps someone you know well. This will give it a warm, inclusive feeling, and makes your audience much more likely to feel engaged in what you’re saying.
Not only does speaking out instil enthusiasm about you and your work into others, but it will give you a massive confidence boost too. And once you’re a whizz at this, this confidence will carry over to all of your other interactions, including more intimate events and chats. Hurrah.
This Friday is my favourite day of the month: it’s the OOO accountability chat! Want in? All readers can come to one session for free, so hit reply and I’ll send you the Zoom link.
If ‘freedom’ has left you feeling completely awkward, you might also like this article on how to network in this strange new world.