Press the 'emotional reset' button
How to recover from a stressy email or avoid the afternoon slump
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Don’t forget that this Friday is a free Galentines Day post-work drinks - come and hang out with other self-employed women and set the world to rights.
Morning, Colleague!
Wow, last week’s issue (how to fall back in love with your job) was my most popular to date. It seems like so many of us (including, I suspect based on numbers, people in traditional employment) are struggling to bring a sense of passion and drive to our work at the moment. And I’m just here to say: that’s ok. The world’s on fire and everything is gloomy, so you’d be forgiven for not wanting to update your business’ Facebook page, or reach out to that difficult client.
This month - Love Month - is all about self-compassion, and cutting yourself some slack. And today’s issue is a bit of a game-changer. It’s packed with two-minute exercises to help you reset your mood. Use them whenever you feel overwhelmed, stressed, pissed off, or generally out of sorts. (And if you’re stuck in home-school hell and can’t spare two minutes, there’s a 10-second exercise just for you.)
Change your breathing, change your day
Lots has been written about breath work recently – personally, I’ve always considered it to be a lovely ‘non work’ exercise. In other words, I can see how it would fit in before sleep, or first thing in the morning, but hadn’t imagined it could have an impact on my working life. But I think I’ve been missing a trick.
Breath work can be a powerful tool for changing things up professionally – something we all desperately need right now when home and work are easily tangled. “It’s really powerful to use with work,” says Charlie Moult, a breath work facilitator who works with lots of self-employed women via her membership platform, Source, as well as seeing people one-to-one and helping corporate clients. “You can use it to help set you up for the day; to create breaks in projects; and to make you feel more creative. It’s like a superpower.”
So how does it work?
“Breath work can do lots of different things. It’s a way of consciously using the breath to create a physiological change in your body,” she says. “Most people don’t breathe correctly and this can signal to your body that you’re not safe. Breath work can help you switch off that stressed out loop circuit, and it can move energy around the body to release emotions.”
And that’s not all it can do. Impressively for something that costs nothing, is super simple, and can be done anywhere, breath work can either flood you with fresh energy and creativity, or chill you the fuck out. And just a few minutes can make a tangible difference.
Don’t believe us? Give these exercises from Charlie a try:
How to calm down after a stressful email
Before starting, spend some time in a comfortable seated position, taking deep breaths in and out of your nose to become present in your body.
Then try a ‘blow breath’. Breathe in deeply through your nose, then blow it out through your mouth as if you were blowing out candles on a cake. Breathing out of your mouth like this helps to release bottled up tension – really push the air out.
Hold your breath for a few seconds, before repeating five times.
Start your day the right way
Before you get stuck into the day’s work, get some extra oxygen into your body with a quick routine. Nose breathing brings in feelings of calm by stimulating your vagus nerve, which in turn helps turn on your parasympathetic nervous system – your body’s ‘rest and digest’ mode. Using your mouth to exhale helps up your energy for the day ahead.
Breathe in deeply through your nose, out through your mouth. At the end of your exhale, hold briefly before repeating.
Try this for two minutes.
…And end it well, too
Creating that work/home division is now more crucial than ever . Try this slow, diaphragmatic breath when you’re ready to down tools. Holding your breath signals to your body that it has to relax, as it doesn’t know when it will be getting oxygen again – this also stimulates the vagus nerve. You should be able to feel your body physically relaxing as you go through a few sets.
Inhale through your nose for a count of four. Hold for a count of seven.
Slowly exhale through your mouth for a count of eight.
Repeat for two minutes.
How to deal with imposter syndrome
Feeling like a fraud? Build up your self-confidence in 10 minutes. This one is mouth-focused, as mouth breathing is ideal for shifting emotional blocks.
Set some intentions. Ask yourself: ‘What is it I’d like to let go of? And what would I like to bring in?’ So perhaps for imposter syndrome it might be you’d like to let go of ‘not feeling good enough’, and bring in ‘more confidence’. You now pair these with your breath.
Breathe out through your mouth (thinking ‘I’m letting go of not feeling good enough’).
And breathe in through your mouth (thinking: ‘I’m taking in more confidence’).
Continue for 10 minutes.
Go forth and be a badass.
Get past the afternoon slump
This flow pattern takes a bit of forward planning – it’s ideal to do just before lunch. Helping bring your body out of a state of stress will mean your digestion is improved, which should reduce your chances of a slump. Hurrah!
Breathe in through your nose for a count of four. Hold for four. Breathe out of your nose for four.
Repeat, but for counts of eight.
Do the full set twice for perfect sluggishness prevention.
A brief escape from the kids
Finally, for those of you trapped in home-school hell, even two minutes of breath work might seem like a luxury you can’t afford. Try this instant calmer to give you extra strength and clarity no matter how complicated their maths homework is. “It stops your oxygen for a moment and creates a shift in your body, to interrupt stress patterns,” says Charlie.
Breathe in through your nose, hold for a count of three.
Take an explosive breath out through your mouth.
Wait until you naturally need to take your next breath.
I hope these have helped you unhook your jaw and lower your shoulders. I am definitely guilty of holding my breath when things are tough, but - especially when we’re all trapped inside - it’s so important to connect with your body and feel grounded.
I’m still keen to hear from you - what do you love about being self-employed? I think it’s so important to reflect on this at the moment, when everything is so ‘meh’.
Don’t forget about this Friday’s post-work drinks - it’s free, friendly, and a lovely way to let go of some work burdens before the weekend.
*Toot toot*, what’s that? Why it’s the sound of me blowing my own trumpet… I only won a bloody award last week, didn’t I?! I was delighted to receive a Women of the Future Award in the media category for my work on Survivor Stories. I’m writing up an OOO that’s all about the importance of celebrating your wins when you work for yourself, so here’s me practicing what I preach. (Look out for the article later in Love Month).